Author Topic: doubt...life management  (Read 1641 times)

Ananth

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doubt...life management
« on: December 03, 2007, 09:11:14 PM »
Jai Sai Master, Babu garu..
Jai Sai Master, Sai Bandhus..

Babu garu, I wanted to ask a couple of questions regarding "life management". These doubts were creeping up from time to time and there comes a time (everytime) when we come to a dead end as to how to deal with that situation.

Let's say, I have an aquaintance. He asked for help. I try to help him, to the best of my ability. Over the time, he starts to take advantage of me, thinking that I am saying yes to everything he says, then what should I do? It is such a cross-roads where I am clever enough to know that he is taking advantage of me, and so I should stop him from doing that, but at the other side of the coin, if I do that, he might get hurt by my words (which are not harsh but plain "to the fact" words).

At one side, I remotely try to see if I can be successful in seeing Baba in everybody (as Sri Master taught us, but which I keep failing to see...) at the other side, they seem to take advantage of me, then how can I see like that, by the simple fact that he is taking advantage of me??? I will be betraying myself and my small efforts to see Baba in everybody, if I say that I see Baba in him and then internally I curse him that he doing this or doing that.

So, is it good enough, spiritually, to say to that other person, without hurting him, that he should stop taking advantage of me??? or should I silently go through steps and hope for the best that he will change??

This situation arises every once in a while and I want to know Babu garu, if there is any ideal way to deal with such situations and also to rise from the petty things of life and move on in spiituality??

Hope I did not ask a stupid question, Babu garu.

Regards,
Jai Sai Master!!

Ananth

Jai Sai Master!
Jai Swamy Sai!

Dwarakanath

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Re: doubt...life management
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2007, 07:40:10 AM »
Jai Sai Master!

It is a very important, and very good question.

firstly, on one side of the coin, its the feeling of seeing Baba in everyone. We have to keep in mind that Baba is there in everyone and serve them, irrespective of whether they are taking advantage of us. Like Baba with Jawahar Ali. Besides, if he is using us, even taking Baba out of the equation and looking at him as another person, all we have to remember is that he can only benifit if we are indebted to him in previous births. if he is taking extra from us, it will not go any where, it will come back right to us. As Bhagavan Ramana said in "Who am I", "what ever you are giving to others, you are giving it to yourself."

On the other side, we should not let others take advantage of us because by doing so, we are making their wrong samskaras wrong and promoting wrong. In turn, we are ruining him. This is wrong. This means that we are not ready to take action against wrong-being.

How to have a balance? There are several answers, based on different levels of the practitioner. For example, if one is a Sadhu who has left everything in search of God, His primarly goal is to be and act as if God is everything. Such a person need not take any action, as long as he is the suffering party. how ever, he must act if someone else is suffering.
In other cases, based on the people and circumstances, different levels of balance, each tending to one of those above, are available.

The heart of it is, if it is your own brother, how would you feel? If it is you on the recieving end, what would you expect?

I have/had this problem myself. I took many different roots each time, and surprisingly, I found that all of them work!!

One time, I just let the person continue to do so, only praying to Baba to help him understand and to tell Baba that I am not doing it to that person but to the Master in him. After a few months of this, other people noticed it and without even my knowledge, they told that guy and he stopped taking advantage of me.

Another time, I met the person face to face, and told him the scenario and told him that i cannot continue this. he became agressive and i remained passive. he accused me of not behaving like Master's son and falling from spirituality. I just said that I knew it myself and that I am improving, but at the moment I cannot let him take advantage of me. He stopped taking advantage of me but it ruined our friendship.

Another time, I met the person and told him lovingly and caringly that he should look to become independent. I told him that i didnt mind to help him, but I told him that i didnt know how long I can do it. I told him that i might have to go away anytime and told him to be ready and be independent. He took it well and asked me to help him become independent. I did so, and I made him feel proud and happy of it. It worked really well.

Each one worked in its situation.

But I learnt a key factor. I understood that the last one and the first one worked better than the middle one. I found out that the reason behind it was the love and patience I expressed. Then I understood. All it takes is patience and love from our side, and expression of the problem with care and love, and it will automatically go. I understood that if we really feel that he is our brother, and tackle the problem that way, with love and sincerity, it will work best in most cases.

Any questions or elaborations??

Jai Sai Master!!

vasu

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Re: doubt...life management
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2007, 08:13:31 AM »
Jai Sai Master!
Babu garu,
Let's take the example of thieves, robbers or pyrates (that's a classic example and make the lesson more interesting and understandable I guess).
What's our duty in these cases...
1)Thieves are trying to rob you and then kill you
2)Thieves are trying to rob a friend of you (or a stranger for that matter) and trying to kill the other person.

What should we do?
Jai Sai Master!

Dwarakanath

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Re: doubt...life management
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2007, 08:37:47 AM »
Jai Sai Master!!

Learn karate?? or may be fast running?? May be even.. praying?? :p

feeling like joking today.. dont laugh if its not funny..

Case 1 : but if they want to rob you.. why would they kill you afterwards? they kill you and then rob you.. thats easy right?? (This idea came to asteris.. not me.. dont laugh on me.. :D)

Case 2 : So, is the theif trying to rob your friend and kill another person? (this is also by asterias)..

no wonder some Mahatma said that Master is surrounded by theives (Asterias and other such.. :D).. Asterias is saying "an idea can change your life!"

just kidding guys.. will write more when I have some time..


Jai Sai Master!!
« Last Edit: December 04, 2007, 08:43:34 AM by Dwarakanath »

vasu

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Re: doubt...life management
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2007, 01:09:51 PM »
Jai Sai Master!
:)  :)
Babu garu: You are truly amazing even when you are joking!
Karate, Running and then praying:
It's in the increasing order of intelligence (approaches of body, mind and soul in the moment of difficulties. Isn't it?)

Babu garu, could you also please narrate us the incident of one Mahatma saying Master surrounded by thieves. Why did the Mahatma call the followers of Master thieves?
Jai Sai Master!
« Last Edit: December 04, 2007, 01:23:50 PM by vasu »

Ananth

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Re: doubt...life management
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2007, 08:50:50 PM »
Jai Sai Master, Babu garu..
Jai Sai Master, Sai bandhus..


Jai Sai Master, Vasu garu..

The question that you asked, I came to know about that (Mahatma calling "thieves around Master") in the book Guru Sushrusha. A rare 2 accounts of His (Sri Chaitanya Swamy) Sadguru written by Swamy Himself.

I am not sure as of this moment, but I think it was Nagamunindra Swamy. He said

"Meerantaa dongalu. andaroo vaalla vaalla karmalu naakicchi bhikaarini chestunnaru. pondi! kaani aa baapanayya manchi vaadu. atani hrudayam manchidi. aa okka kundaa (Pot) manchidi. annee utti kundalae."

Somebody asks "evaru Swamy?" He again says "aa Ongole aayana Baba manishe kadoo?? aayana dongalanu baagu cheyyalee antaadayya!! karmalu anta tondaragaa potaaya? aayana dongalato kashta padutunnadu. anta kashtam deniki? dongalu elaa maarutaarayya? aayana deggira unna vaallantaa dongalae ayyaa!"


This can be read in Telugu at this link

http://www.divyajanani.org/saibharadwaja//books/ReadGuruSushroosha.asp?PNo=GS0129

At this point, I just cannot stop from extending just one more statement from the Rama bhakta Sri Ranganna Babu garu. He said "Bharadwaja ku naa namaskaaralu cheppandayya. aayanantati vaallamaa ayyaa manamu?? (Goosebumps!! Goosebumps!! Goosebumps...)


Thank you Babu garu for giving me detailed explanation. My question was more towards the thieves that are in me and my family, my friends and aquainteces with whom we interact with each other and deep inside we think in another way. That is where I wanted clarity on, more than the real thieves and killers which Vasu garu was refering to. Thank you Babu garu.

Regards,
Jai Sai Master!

ananth
Jai Sai Master!
Jai Swamy Sai!

vasu

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Re: doubt...life management
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2007, 02:51:40 AM »
Jai Sai Master, Babu garu..
Jai Sai Master, Sai bandhus..


Jai Sai Master, Vasu garu..

The question that you asked, I came to know about that (Mahatma calling "thieves around Master") in the book Guru Sushrusha. A rare 2 accounts of His (Sri Chaitanya Swamy) Sadguru written by Swamy Himself.

I am not sure as of this moment, but I think it was Nagamunindra Swamy. He said

"Meerantaa dongalu. andaroo vaalla vaalla karmalu naakicchi bhikaarini chestunnaru. pondi! kaani aa baapanayya manchi vaadu. atani hrudayam manchidi. aa okka kundaa (Pot) manchidi. annee utti kundalae."

Somebody asks "evaru Swamy?" He again says "aa Ongole aayana Baba manishe kadoo?? aayana dongalanu baagu cheyyalee antaadayya!! karmalu anta tondaragaa potaaya? aayana dongalato kashta padutunnadu. anta kashtam deniki? dongalu elaa maarutaarayya? aayana deggira unna vaallantaa dongalae ayyaa!"


This can be read in Telugu at this link

http://www.divyajanani.org/saibharadwaja//books/ReadGuruSushroosha.asp?PNo=GS0129

At this point, I just cannot stop from extending just one more statement from the Rama bhakta Sri Ranganna Babu garu. He said "Bharadwaja ku naa namaskaaralu cheppandayya. aayanantati vaallamaa ayyaa manamu?? (Goosebumps!! Goosebumps!! Goosebumps...)


Thank you Babu garu for giving me detailed explanation. My question was more towards the thieves that are in me and my family, my friends and aquainteces with whom we interact with each other and deep inside we think in another way. That is where I wanted clarity on, more than the real thieves and killers which Vasu garu was refering to. Thank you Babu garu.

Regards,
Jai Sai Master!

ananth
Jai Sai Master!
I said real thieves and robbers makes the story more interesting and understandable. Yes more dangerous thieves are in you and surrounding you (as Baba says "Vadalo Dongalu").
Jai Sai Master!
Jai Sai Master!

Ananth

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Re: doubt...life management
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2007, 03:59:33 AM »
Jai Sai Master, Babu garu..
Jai Sai Master, Vasu garu..

Vasu garu, I hope you did not misunderstand my previous post. I do realize that you were talking about real thieves and robbers. What I was saying was, from my perspective, the doubts were cleared by Babu garu. And what you were refering to and asking Babu garu was another angle of the same topic for which there will be answers by Babu garu pretty soon. I am keen to learn too, of your persective, that of "real robbers and thives". Also I believe we already discussed this in the topic "Guns", is it not?? Anyway, once again, hope you did not misunderstand my post.

Regards,
Jai Sai Master!

Ananth
Ananth
Jai Sai Master!
Jai Swamy Sai!

Raghuram

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Re: doubt...life management
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2007, 11:31:26 AM »
Jai Saimaster!!!

Vasu garu,

If your question is about,"How to see Sai in all", then please read the following chapter from "SaiMaster Pravachanalu"

http://www.divyajanani.org/saibharadwaja/books/saimasterPravachanamulu/Pravachanamulu_Chapter05.html

Jai SaiMaster!!!

« Last Edit: December 05, 2007, 11:33:01 AM by raghuram »

SaimasterDevotee

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Re: doubt...life management
« Reply #9 on: December 06, 2007, 12:08:30 AM »
Jai gurudatta!Jai saimaster!


Quote
On the other side, we should not let others take advantage of us because by doing so, we are making their wrong samskaras wrong and promoting wrong. In turn, we are ruining him. This is wrong. This means that we are not ready to take action against wrong-being.


Dwarakagaru,

Can we apply the same to money management also?? I mean...if some one demanding for money, what should we do in that scenario ?? If we say NO.That will ruin the relation. please provide some info how to manage money with Ralative & and near and dear ones???



Jai saimaster!
« Last Edit: December 06, 2007, 03:14:44 AM by saimaster_eb »
"The life of Saibaba is as wide and as deep as the infinite ocean;all can dive deep into it and take out precious gems of knowledge and devotion and cherish them to transform their lives." --- Sri Sai Satcharitra